I was on the bus a few days ago, going home from campus and I just suddenly thought about this specific incident that happened a few months ago. Ya, it was just a few months ago and yet, it felt like it was already a long time in the past.
There are a lot of times when someone else does something to you and you'd start assuming a lot of things. These assumptions can range from an almost ficitional scenario to one that is dreadfully negative. In the end, and in my opinion, it depends on 1) how optimistic/pessimistic you are and 2) how you actually want things to turn out.
So, the main story. Or stories, because I'm gonna give a few instances in which I did this whole "I thought" thing and got myself feeling like shit.
There was once where I was in a group for an assignment and we had to send our names to our lecturer before a certain date. We all sent our details to a group chat and we kinda, somehow forgot to confirm who was going to email the details to our lecturer. Almost 3 days after the supposed deadline, had we only realised by then that non of us did it. But thankfully, our lecturer didn't seem to mind at all when we emailed her by then lol. I did freaked out tho, being the paranoid me.
Another one of the many many times I did this "I thought" thing again was the incident that made me write this entry. Okay, so there was this person whom was initially my friend, K's friend and we became acquainted afterwards. And then, we started talking more often and I really like our conversations because we had quite a lot in common in terms of the we think and all. Then, "I thought" there was something happening, or on the way to. Not long after that, I found out that this person liked someone else and I felt. like. shit. At first, I was angry because I was thinking why would that person be so nice to me and made me misunderstood. After some time, just a few days(or a week..), I told myself that it wasn't that person's fault at all. I was the one who was thinking and hoping too much out of it, so I absolutely have no one to blame other than me and my brain, and hormones maybe.
There was once where I was in a group for an assignment and we had to send our names to our lecturer before a certain date. We all sent our details to a group chat and we kinda, somehow forgot to confirm who was going to email the details to our lecturer. Almost 3 days after the supposed deadline, had we only realised by then that non of us did it. But thankfully, our lecturer didn't seem to mind at all when we emailed her by then lol. I did freaked out tho, being the paranoid me.
Another one of the many many times I did this "I thought" thing again was the incident that made me write this entry. Okay, so there was this person whom was initially my friend, K's friend and we became acquainted afterwards. And then, we started talking more often and I really like our conversations because we had quite a lot in common in terms of the we think and all. Then, "I thought" there was something happening, or on the way to. Not long after that, I found out that this person liked someone else and I felt. like. shit. At first, I was angry because I was thinking why would that person be so nice to me and made me misunderstood. After some time, just a few days(or a week..), I told myself that it wasn't that person's fault at all. I was the one who was thinking and hoping too much out of it, so I absolutely have no one to blame other than me and my brain, and hormones maybe.
The bottom line is, "I thought" can be very powerful in a way that it might hurt not only yourself, but sometimes other people too. For me, both had happened numerous times. It would be quite wonderful if things occur in a vacuum and wouldn't affect one another that much but oops, that ain't how things work. In a way or another, they will find a way to have some kind of link(s). Therefore, we have to stop assuming things all the time and be wiser to start clarifying thoughts with solid facts before jumping to fantasies or whatever glittery outcomes that we ourselves imagine.
It is okay to have some expectations that are of our favour, but what I've learned from my past experiences is to never mix up fantasies with expectations. These are different things and to save ourselves from falling into the dark pit of disappointment/rage/confusion, stop doing the "I thought" thing, just stop.
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